Saturday, December 19, 2009

My Facebook day!

As both of my blog readers know, I am not a Facebook fanatic! I do not feel the need to share what I am doing at every second of the day with lots of people who would put me on the ignore list or defriend me if I did.

I do use Facebook to update what is going on with the Journal, but that is it. I realize nobody really gives a flying flip what I am doing every second of every day. But in an effort to fit in with that crowd, I am going to list what my Facebook day would look like!

I know, nobody cares, so why am I writing a blog about what my day would look like if nobody actually would care to read it? Uh, beats me. I just thought it would be fun.

(Between 6:30 and 7:30 a.m.) Whoa, I am out of bed! Gosh, I wish I could have slept longer but I woke up. Man, I don’t feel good this morning because (please pick appropriate response) a. I didn’t get enough sleep! b. I slept too much! c. It is too cold! d. It is too hot! Or my personal favorite: e. ooh, maybe I shouldn’t have had that third helping of chili last night!

(Shortly after I have gotten out of bed) Hey guys, just used the restroom! I feeeeel so much better! (Please note, this can’t be used on the mornings after the third bowl of chili the previous night)

(Approximately 8 a.m.) Well, I just read the newspaper! Boy, I wish the Fort Smith paper would write about things I care about! The sports page featured 90 percent crud on the Razorbacks!

(8:15ish) Hmm, I wonder if I should shave? It's only been two weeks. I could probably wait another day!

(Approximately 8:30) Fixing to eat breakfast! (Five minutes later) Finished breakfast! Boy, am I stuffed! I might have to make another pit stop!

(A little later, depending on the circumstances post breakfast) Working on web site! Read my emails! Man, I get a lot of junk on my Yahoo mail account! Does Viagra know something I don’t?

(Mid morning) Still working on updating the web site. I checked my email for the fifth time! Got another email from somebody wanting me to take Viagra, for some reason. Also got some good stuff for the Journal!

(Around lunch) I am fixing to eat lunch! Gosh, I don’t know what I should have! But I know it will be good!

(A few minutes later) I am eating lunch! Bologna! Man, that really hit the spot. I wonder why nobody has commented on my status updates? I guess everybody is really busy today!

(Around 1) Boy, a nap sure would be good!

(A little later) I took a nap! Now I feel groggy and like it is my time of the month!

(After a cup of coffee) Ifeelenergizedagain! Notinabadmoodanymore. Guess everybody is still busy, no comments!

(Midafternoon) Think I’ll turn on the television and see what is happening! Man, there’s like 10 zillion shows featuring irritable judges and spouses cheating on each other and lying about it!

(Sometime later, after I have tired of watching people shout at each other) Going to visit my special friend!

(Approximately 4 p.m.) I wonder why nobody is home? I keep knocking but nobody answers the door and I hear movement inside! Maybe it’s the dog?

(6ish!) Going to cover a basketball game!

(A few minutes later) Driving to a basketball game! Is Facebook messed up? Still no status comments, everybody must still be busy! Going to stop at a convenience store to get something to eat!

(Around 6:20) At the gym at (insert whoever here)! Gosh, my stomach sure is queasy! I wonder why?

(6:30) Game is fixing to tip off! Man, I feel like I am about to explode!

(6:45) End of first quarter! Man, this game is exciting! It is 5-4!

(7) My stomach just groaned so loud the girl fixing to shoot a free throw paused and asked if I was okay! She must have been concerned cause she missed both. Halftime, 15-14! Lots of attempted threes! Not a whole lot of drives so my pictures will probably not be good!

(7:20) Went to the restroom! Looked like something had died there so I hope to make it home without a major accident! Second half has started! Whoa, another three attempt!

(8) I wonder how old those corn dogs were I ate for dinner? Everything is a little blurry and it feels like the Grambling band is performing in my stomach!

(8:15) First game is over! Final score 20-18! Now on to boys!

(8:30) Hey, the boys are starting! I wonder why the school administrator is eyeing me funny?

(9) An officer of the law takes me aside and asks if I have any contagious diseases! I tell him I am just here to cover the game. Said he had some complains from the 10th row. He looked dubious!

(10) Game is over! Almost as many fouls as there were points! I guess the officials thought they were getting paid per foul!

(10:30) I am home! Is that an EPA van parked out front? Checked Facebook and still no comments! I didn’t know people were that busy! Going to write my story and post it and pictures! I bet lots of people are ready for that!

(11:30) Well, long day! I finished my story and pictures! Guess I’ll go to bed! Goodnight FB friends!

Then, I sleep!

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