Tuesday, November 3, 2009

A great idea...

I was talking to a friend the other day and he came up with one of the best ideas I had heard in a long time.

I can’t remember exactly what we were talking about, since it was guy talk (which is the exact opposite of women talk where every word and sentence is filed, categorized, dissected, and remembered for years to come).

Anyway, he had apparently said something that might not be politically correct by certain segments of the society and mentioned how nice it would be to have a “word filter”.

Bingo! That would be a great subject for a blog! It took a few days to get around to writing the blog as there were several previous blog ideas already floating around and I don’t let blog ideas cut to the front, unless I forget the previous ones or decide they are more boring than usual.

How nice would that be? I know, none of you have probably ever said anything you wished could be taken back.

Well, I have. I would pay serious money to be able to edit some of my comments. One I am really not proud of happened when I was working one of my previous jobs. A very nice man came into the office to see one of my associates (hey, how about bonus points for writing something that made me sound stuffy instead of saying some chick who also worked there?)

The person was in a wheelchair. I was kind and opened the door for him and led him back to the waiting area since the person was actually busy.

As we got to the waiting area, I said “She will be with you in just a minute. Just take a seat…”

I felt like somebody who had just passed gas in a crowded elevator (not that I have ever done that). Luckily, he smiled and said, “I already have one.”

Not one of my prouder moments. But just think…if I had a word filter (or make it filtering software), I could have edited that comment and not sounded like a complete idiot. A partial idiot, perhaps, but not a complete one.

And then there was the time I was talking to two guys at a conference. One person mentioned how tired he was of this particular women commenting about everything the instructor said. I failed to notice the new presence of somebody to my side, dratted poor peripheral vision!

“You mean the one with the big nose?” I said. The two others looked like they had seen Casper the Real Ghost. Yes, the big-nosed classmate had just entered our discussion. Fortunately, I never saw this person again after that day. But did receive enough glares that afternoon to last a lifetime.

That brings me to my favorite moment when a word filter could have come in extremely handy. I actually was not there or did not say this, just heard about it that day and many times since. No, I will not divulge any identities and you will soon find out why.

A group of golfers were coming up the last hole at Choctaw Country Club in Poteau. It was summer and there were people swimming in the pool and being a responsible organization, the country club had a lifeguard present to make sure none of the little kids went belly up.

This lifeguard was female and rather well built upstairs. One of the golfers, a young one, of course, happened to notice the lifeguard.

“My gosh,” he said, or something to that effect. “Would you look at that!” I believe he also mentioned the size of the lifeguard’s chest and like most guys, asked if anybody knew her.

There was a hushed moment until one member of his group said simply, “Yeah, that’s my daughter.”

A true story! One I am forever grateful that did not involve me and yes, a word filter would have certainly come in handy that day. Could it be a coincidence that the same person who suggested the idea of a word filter was the same person who mentioned the lifeguard? I think not.

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