Even as a young Craigger, the old Oakland A’s uniforms were wrong. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers’ unis were bad. The Houston Astros and Pittsburgh Pirates outfits made me go “ugh!”
The old Chicago White Sox gigs with the short pants were upsetting to my stomach. I had to change the channel earlier this season when the Denver Broncos wore throwback uniforms…TWICE! Egad!
The old Denver Nuggets needed a new style back in the old days, but their new ones aren’t much better.
Yes, I thought I had seen the worst of uniforms. Until Tuesday that is.
It was a simple high school game, much like so many before, at least I thought, until walking into Howe’s gym.
Then…I saw it. Down at the other end of the court! I thought something had to be wrong with my eyes. It looked like a bunch of old barber poles. But it wasn’t. McCurtain’s girls were wearing…Where’s Waldo? socks!
I kid you not. See the accompanying picture for verification.
I asked one of the Howe coaches if they would be copying the socks. He looked at me like I had escaped from Vinita and I needed a return ticket in the worst way. “I don’t think so,” he finally said.
The socks weren’t merely bad. They were dreadful! I wondered who came up with the idea of the Where’s Waldo? socks. Was it the coach as penalty for having a bad practice or losing to somebody they should have defeated?
Did the players actually like them? Maybe whoever they bought the uniforms from messed up the order. Or, really messed up the order.
I know, I should have investigated more. But from a guy who doesn’t even like seeing basketball players wear black socks, and a person who REALLY does not care for old men wearing black socks with dress shoes and Bermuda shorts, it was almost more than I could take.
The first few trips down the court, I was so focused on the yucky socks I couldn’t pay attention to the game. I didn't snap a half-decent picture until the second quarter! Maybe that was what happened with Howe. The Lady Lions were actually behind at halftime!
I blame it on the socks. I can just imagine the girls sitting around at halftime shaming each other: “My gosh!” my imaginary conversion went, “we’re losing to a team wearing Where’s Waldo? socks!”
Perhaps the shock over McCurtain’s socks finally wore off. Howe overcame the fashion faux pas (Yep, I had to look that spelling up!) blunder of the opponents and started playing basketball.
Now, I must point out there was nothing wrong with the rest of the McCurtain uniforms. But the socks…I still shiver.
Finally, the game ended and it was time for the boys. Shortly before the teams took the court, I had a dreadful thought. “Oh - - - -!” I thought, or something to that effect, “surely McCurtain’s boys won’t wear the same kind of socks!”
Fortunately, they didn’t. They wore the yucky black ones. But on this night, I didn't even complain about that.