A weather gripe

I try to not think about the weather, let alone write about it.

But curiosity overcame this cat (typically a rather cool one, but not in these conditions) and I typed in extended weather forecast in a search box by a company looking to own the world the other day.

There was the Farmer’s Almanac! It had to be right. After all, people have been turning to the publication for several decades.

I expected to read about some prediction based on the length of fuzzy hair on some endangered insect, but was proven wrong.

Here was our forecast for the summer: Cooler and rainier than normal. (Rainier?) I’d have to go out on the proverbial limb (not a real tree limb, of course) and say WRONG!

This has been the worst summer since the summer of 1980. Ah, that one was a booger. I think this one is worse, but it might be my extended age and favoritism of a good air conditioner.

Not that our cooling system would be considered good. Our AC hasn’t shut off in over a month and ceiling fans and other fans are going pretty much nonstop around the House of Trish. Still, it is hot in and out.

Anyway, another section called for temperatures only a degree above average for July and the precipitation below average. The Farmers were batting .500 there.

August looks better, although my confidence in them has worsened since the prior prediction about the cooler summer is still on the website. Temperatures for Aug. 1-7 are supposed to be below average. Notice the “supposed” in that sentence.

For Aug. 8-10 it is predicted to be hot. But hey, Aug. 11-16 is going to be cooler to the north. Sadly, it does not fully explain the whole north part of our region, but since it is Oklahoma and Texas, maybe that will be good news. Then again…

We are supposed to be comfortable from Aug. 17-23. Does this mean we are migrating to Montana and Wyoming? Then the month is supposed to close with thunderstorms and storms to the south.

And just for something to speculate about, which is basically what a long-term forecast is, the forecast for September and October is supposed to be cooler and dryer than normal.

Since I have no faith in other forecasts and you have managed to stumble along this far, here is my extended, long-term forecast with a no money-back guarantee:

Hot. Little chance of a break until late September. Then warmer than average until a surprise winter storm hits in late October, bringing the average tempature down to below freezing untl next April. Sorry, no fall. Just straight from summer to winter. Cold until April, then storms and an early and hot summer.

There. You have it, for what it’s worth.